Thank you for taking time to follow Meaghan's journey of healing as she battles Medulloblastoma, a form of brain cancer.

Meaghan, our five year old daughter, was diagnosed early November 2009 after an MRI revealed she had a 4 cm solid tumor in her cerebellum. The tumor resection, while successful, resulted in serious complications.

Cancer is a family affair and here I try to chronicle not only Meg's journey, but our whole family's as well.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

How Dad Feels/For Meaghan

Dads are supposed to be strong. We are not boys, we are grown men. We must be strong, brave, willing to fight, and somehow remain cool among everything.
I am not close with my Dad. Not since I was a boy. There are reasons, but most are out of either of our control. But these are times, where I wish we could be, just to talk. But for now, I’m on my own.

Things don’t happen for a reason.
They happen for many, many reasons that I cannot even pretend to understand.
What I do know is that a 5 year old girl has sacrificed nearly everything in her life to make ‘The Moleski 5’ complete again.The big kids have changed so much in the past 4½ months. A lot of it was their doing, but honestly, we are making them grow up faster than they should. I am amazed at the level of patience that they have shown for their sister.
For me, I certainly don’t care about the things that I used to think were important. I’ve seen the best in people that I never knew existed. Most of all, I’ve learned that there are things/people in life bigger than myself. I know my wife well enough that she feels the same.
If Meaghan calls for me every 5 minutes for a hug, we won’t hesitate. (At least for the first 15 times). Regrettably, I use those instances to get the strength I need to continue. That’s not exactly the most admirable thing to do, I know. It’s a lot to put on a 5 year old. And it’s ironic that most of the time I could not survive any of this without the strength of my little girl.

So let’s be honest. It’s not about being cool anymore. And I’m not the brave one here. None of us are. In fact, we are all cowards, fearful of how this will end and how it will affect us and those around us.
Meaghan is the one who is providing the strength, courage, and power to all of us.

Bear with me
Meaghan, I’ll be strong.
I’ll stand by your side. Always.

Remember how we danced, after everyone left?
You stood on my feet until we were too tired
Even to sleep.

Ask me for anything.
I’ll give everything I have.
Take my hand and I will follow
Wherever you lead. I will never let go.


  1. Ed and the whole family, whether you want to believe it or not you all are unbelievably strong, brave, courageous and so much of an inspiration to all of us. Prayers and hugs to all

  2. indeed, you are all very strong and courageous, you just dont recognize it yet as such...

    keep your vision positive and always on the future, as you are doing...

    fill each moment with compassion, and strength will build...

    ~ g


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